It won’t get me anywhere. It hasn’t gotten me anywhere yet. So why can’t I just let go?! I just need to trust my HP, believing he has my best interest at heart. If it’s meant to be, it will be. If not, then it won’t.
I need to put out good vibes and keep a positive outlook, or at the very least keep my faith. This is SO hard. God I can’t wait to get to a meeting. I’m going crazy. It’s been two full days. My mind gets real screwed up without my meeting medicine.
My friend fixed my awful haircut for free of charge cause she knows I’m unemployed at the moment. I gave her a thank you card and my $20 Dierbergs gift card that I got from work for Thanksgiving. I wrote a nice letter and signed it with “P.S. I see a change in you (for the better!) and it’s inspiring me to keep trudging along these steps and with my recovery.” So extra. Lol but it’s true. I did notice a difference in her. A certain serenity and happiness. I want that. I’m so happy for her.
Hey at least I know I’m gonna pass the drug test! I hope anyways. Lol. It’s been a good 6-8 weeks since I’ve smoked. And, hey, if not, well fack. Then I know. And I’ll know what shows up in the background too either way. I’m just glad they got a chance to meet me in person before they’re gonna see all that bad stuff. I feel like I’m pretty likeable and compliant, maybe even sweet, while sober. I mean I just interviewed today and they offered me it! That’s cool! Focus on the good, Stacey. Be grateful! I have a lot to be grateful for so I’m just gonna suck it up and trust in my HP. ✌