I can’t be a nurse. They never get coffee breaks. Or the inevitable (and necessary) four bathroom breaks following said coffee break. (In one hour.)
I am super moody. I come off like an asshole a lot, whether I try to or not. I hate everyone. I’m petty as fuck. I looked right at the coworker I hate leaving work yesterday and didnt hold the door. If it was literally anyone else, including Satan himself, I would’ve held the door.
I’ve been watching videos on INFPs. One guy said they make great nurses because they’re so caring and compassionate. “Awww, yes I am! That’s what I need to do with my life!” I immediately thought. (Because external factors are clearly why I’m so miserable, it always leads back to my job.) Nevermind my family and friends have been recommending nursing since I was 16 and I’ve had zero interest and was pro anti-nursing school for myself tbh.
I’m super uncomfortable feeling pity for people. Super sensitive to smell. All bad quirks in a nurse. And also unequivocally me. Also way too much responsibility! I cannot have someone else’s life literally in my hands.
Construction worker is out. I thought I could do that after watching Office Space and reading MBTI types. “Oh the main character is an INFP too and he found happiness in construction work?! Sign me up!” I related to that movie so much. I hate bureaucratic corporate environments surrounded by people I fucking hate. And they’re all made out of ticky tacky and they all look just the same… I think of my workplace. All those old, bitter, miserable, fake “professional” two faced women. I hate being friendly when I’m sour AF. It makes me feel better to talk and be social but I’ll be damned if I start the conversation.
I think my aura and/or RBF do the job of scaring people away. My tone doesn’t help either. I cannot hide my miserable-ity. And I know it puts people off and offends them. I think of how I’m acting and how I feel when I see people acting the same. “Fuck you then” comes to mind generally. I just… I’m literally irritable 24/7. Irritable, resentful, angry, sad. It’s exhausting. Then I feel guilty that I’m not happy when I have a fucking great, blessed, and privileged life compared to many. Not a day goes by that I don’t wish to end it. To end the suffering. Then anxiety kicks in. Where does everyone go when they die? Will I be surrounded for eternity listening to coughing, throat clearing in a cube? Will I literally just cease to exist, just fall asleep for eternity? Does it all just matter what you believe when it all ends, is that the determiming factor? Doesn’t it need to be a one size fits all though? You can’t have your cake and eat it too. Just physically impossible. So is that how death is?
Post office worker, FedEx/UPS driver, truck driver are all out due to the small bladder sitch-ee-aye-shun.
Other INFPs, are you happy with your career?